


'Til I Come Back Around

by amberlazuli



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Getting Back Together, M/M, Relationship Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:42:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21898354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amberlazuli/pseuds/amberlazuli
Summary: The one thing that’s changed over the years, though, isthem, and Tsumugi tries very hard not to think about how the silence between them, once comfortable, now has an awkward tension that neither of them seem to be able to break.He shakes his head to clear it of those kinds of thoughts, because veering back down that road is dangerous and entirely unproductive.Time is moving forward.Maybe it’s time for him to move on with it.
Relationships: Takatoo Tasuku/Tsukioka Tsumugi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 140





	'Til I Come Back Around

He gets déjà vu a lot these days. 

And not the kind that comes with the day repeating over and over - though he’s fairly certain at this point that  _ did  _ actually happen and wasn’t just some strange stress-induced fever dream - but honest-to-goodness déjà vu. 

It’s inevitable, really - there are so many things that remind him of university that even though he’s older and has a lot more life experience behind him, the connections are impossible to ignore. 

Sometimes he finds himself waking up in a panic over homework deadlines and has to remind himself that he doesn’t  _ have  _ those now, that the frequent scratching sounds of a pen against paper that fill their shared room - familiar, predictable, steady - are just Tasuku making script notes or filling out his ever-extensive workout schedule. 

He’s listening to it again now, sitting cross-legged on his bed and poring over their most recent script, and he hears shuffling as books are set aside and then the creaking of the couch springs as Tasuku stands. 

“Going for a run,” he announces, and Tsumugi doesn’t acknowledge that because really, what is there to say?

Never mind that it’s - he checks his phone briefly - 10:00 at night; Tasuku’s never really cared about things like that if the mood to work out hits him. 

Another thing that hasn’t changed, Tsumugi thinks absently, though it’s admittedly much easier to come and go here than from their college dorms. 

The one thing that’s different, though, is  _ them,  _ and he tries very hard not to think about how the silence between them, once comfortable, now has an awkward tension that neither of them seem to be able to break. 

He shakes his head to clear it of those kinds of thoughts, because veering back down that road is dangerous and entirely unproductive. 

Time is moving forward. 

Maybe it’s time for him to move on with it. 

-

“You’re back late.”

“Rehearsing,” Tsumugi replies simply, tossing his script on the desk and cracking open a bottle of water that he’d grabbed from the kitchen on the way upstairs. 

That’s the extent of their conversation these days, really - quick exchanges or greetings that say nothing and mean nothing more than a simple acknowledgment of each other’s existence. 

It’s a far cry from the nights they used to spend as boys, talking to each other in the wee hours of the morning and barely being able to stay awake at school the next day, and an even farther one from those times in university when…

Tsumugi coughs, nearly managing to spill water all the way down the front of his shirt, because  _ those memories  _ in particular are ones he needs to stay as far away from as possible. It's hard enough at night with the way their beds are set up, heads mere inches from each other and only the tiniest partition separating them, near enough that he can hear Tasuku's breaths as he tries to fall asleep and his thoughts have strayed more than once to how _easy_ it would be to eliminate that physical barrier between them. 

Except, of course, that it's not that easy. 

Not anymore.

“You alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” he manages to choke out, and once again, those are the only words spoken between them. 

Not that Tasuku has ever been a man of many words, really, but Tsumugi used to be able to read him perfectly despite that, and now it’s like a wall has gone up around him that Tsumugi can’t figure out how to break through. 

He sets the bottle down on his desk, debating climbing up to his bed because there’s not really anything else he has to do tonight, but something makes him stop and turn to face Tasuku’s side of the room. 

The other man is sprawled on the couch, script held up in one hand as he reads it virtually upside-down, and the position he’s in has caused his shirt to ride up just enough that Tsumugi can see the barest hint of finely-chiseled abs. 

If anything, he’s in even better shape now than he had been fresh out of high school, and it’s not as if Tsumugi has ever been particularly attracted to muscles in general but he certainly had always known how nice Tasuku’s body was and it…

Nope. Dangerous thoughts again. 

He shakes his head and decides that maybe sleep is a good idea after all, but he’s barely got one foot on the ladder leading up to his bed when Tasuku speaks again. 

“Hey. Wanna help me run lines?”

“Hmm?” he’s not sure he’s heard correctly, because Tasuku willingly wanting to spend more time with him certainly doesn’t seem like something that would happen in reality. 

“Lines. Wanna help?” Tasuku’s still kind of upside-down and he waves the script, the motion of his arm causing his shirt to ride up even farther. 

“Oh. Sure,” he thinks that sounds casual enough and he walks over to Tasuku’s side of the room, sitting beside him on the couch. “You’ll probably have to be upright for this, though,” he reaches to pat Tasuku’s shoulder without really thinking about it and both of them freeze, Tsumugi’s hand hovering with uncertainty until he pulls it back in. 

“Yeah. Right,” Tasuku, thankfully, doesn’t comment on what could have been a very awkward moment and sits up instead. “Here,” he slides closer, dropping the script so it’s across both of their knees. 

It puts him far too near, thigh pressed along Tsumugi’s own as he leans down to flip to the page he needs. Tsumugi stays as still as possible, hardly daring to breathe, but Tasuku doesn’t seem at all bothered by their proximity. 

“Sorry, I’ve only got one copy here,” he shrugs. 

“Oh! No problem at all!” Tsumugi knows the words sound falsely enthusiastic, because they  _ are _ , and somehow when it comes to Tasuku all of his normal natural acting talent flies completely out the window. 

“You sure?” Tasuku blinks at him and Tsumugi nods, hurriedly breaking eye contact and choosing to focus on the script instead. 

“It’s fine,” his voice is much softer this time and Tasuku eventually looks away, the intensity of his gaze decreasing as he finally finds the right page. “From here?”

“Yeah,” Tasuku grunts, back to one-word responses, and while it’s familiar and non-threatening, Tsumugi can’t help but feel as though he’d missed his chance earlier. 

His chance to do  _ what,  _ he doesn’t know, but the feeling persists even after Tasuku is satisfied with his lines and Tsumugi excuses himself to get ready for bed. 

-

“Get your jacket.”

“Huh?” Tsumugi glances up from where he’s arranging flowers in a vase, attempting to add a pop of colour to the Mankai kitchen. He knows the risk of somebody knocking them over is high, and it’s certainly happened before, but he can’t help himself. 

“Your jacket,” Tasuku repeats, not elaborating more than that as he leaves the kitchen, but the slight jingle of keys when he moves at least clues Tsumugi into the fact that they’re going for a ride...somewhere.

It’s not much to go on, but it’s not as if Tasuku  _ ever  _ explains himself more than he has to, so Tsumugi finishes with the bouquet and hurries to grab his coat before exiting the dorms. 

“Where are we going?” he slides into the seat beside Tasuku, not really expecting an answer and not getting one as they pull away from the building and out onto the street. It’s quiet in the car, though not uncomfortably so, and Tsumugi at least feels as though they’ve made  _ some  _ progress in the last few weeks. 

Where they were going, it turns out, wasn’t far away, and Tasuku pulls the car into a small lot behind what looks like a restaurant. It’s not a place Tsumugi has ever been to but it looks homey and quaint, and he steps out of the car to get a better look. 

“Wait!” he realizes, fishing in his pants for his wallet and coming up empty. “You just said jacket, so I didn’t think to grab…”

“It’s fine. I’ve got it,” Tasuku gives him the tiniest hint of a smile as he locks the car and holds out his hand, and this isn’t exactly new either but it’s not like…

Well, it’s not like they’ve done it  _ lately _ , anyway. 

Still, Tasuku’s hand is familiar and there’s nobody around to see, so Tsumugi grips his fingers as they head toward the restaurant and what’s feeling suspiciously more and more like a  _ date _ . 

It’s not, and he’s not going to fool himself into thinking so, but Tasuku has always had a penchant for doing things in the most blunt way possible and Tsumugi wouldn’t put it past him deciding that _this_ was how they would be getting back together. 

More than anything, though, it’s a chance to talk - or well, to talk as much as Tasuku will allow, so Tsumugi will take it regardless. 

-

“Thank you for dinner,” he says later as they’re wandering the streets, neither of them seemingly wanting to return to the car yet. Tsumugi’s got a coffee in his hand, a pleasant warmth against the chill evening air, and he’d consciously made an effort  _ not  _ to drink too much at dinner so while he feels slightly buzzed, it’s nowhere near enough to impair his judgment. 

Tasuku had been similarly restrained, and while the conversation had been light, Tsumugi gets the sense the entire thing had mostly been them feeling each other out. 

“Yeah,” is all Tasuku says, but his hand is in the small of Tsumugi’s back, guiding his steps, and Tsumugi doesn’t feel any need to put distance between them. “Thanks for coming along.”

“You didn’t give me much choice,” Tsumugi smiles to take any sting out of those words, because all things considered, he truly  _ hadn’t  _ minded. 

“I just thought, y’know, even if we get our own room, we’re never really  _ alone  _ there,” Tasuku stops, guiding Tsumugi over to a bench by the side of the road. 

“True enough,” Tsumugi sits, both hands around the take-out cup now, and Tasuku eventually lowers himself to rest beside him. “Want any?”

“Thanks,” Tasuku doesn’t seem to think twice about taking a sip and Tsumugi hastily pushes down the giddy feeling in his chest because he is  _ not  _ in high school anymore and he shouldn’t be getting excited over an indirect kiss. 

Tasuku passes it back and their fingers brush, both of them looking up and then hurriedly completing the hand-off. Tsumugi uses drinking as an excuse not to say anything, and while Tasuku is similarly silent, he moves closer and settles an arm along the back of the bench in a movement that’s just a _tiny_ bit too deliberate to be casual. 

Tsumugi leans back, smiling to himself, and maybe this time they don’t  _ need  _ to say anything. 

It still leaves him with more questions than answers, but it’s nice - so for the moment, he’ll take it. 

-

“I presume you realize that relationships are not exactly my area of expertise,” Homare gives him a level look over the rim of a teacup that probably costs more than Tsumugi makes tutoring in an entire month. 

He cautiously turns his own cup around, afraid to even pick it up, but Homare wouldn’t have offered if he hadn’t intended Tsumugi to drink from it...right?

“I just thought...well, not to pour salt in old wounds, but you’re the only one here that’s been through a similar experience and I thought that perspective might be useful,” Tsumugi doesn’t think it’s  _ that _ sore a subject, not anymore, but it’s still probably better to be tactful. 

“Ah,” Homare sighs dramatically, crossing his legs and leaning back in his chair. “I see! I would be more than thrilled to assist if it’s possible, in that case. I’ll wager a guess that this is about your roommate?” he’s smiling rather knowingly and Tsumugi can’t really deny that. 

“We…” Tsumugi pauses before launching into the shortest version of the story he can, trying to get a read on Homare’s thoughts as he does so, but for once the other man isn’t letting anything show on his face. 

Truth be told, this might be a lost cause, but Homare really  _ was  _ his only option. There’s a shortage of adults - especially adults who’ve been open about any past relationships - in the dorm, and out of their troupe, Homare definitely has the story that most closely mirrors his own. 

He’d considered Azuma, but Azuma was more about fleeting moments of human connection than anything deep...or at least, that’s all he’s been willing to admit to, and Tsumugi wasn’t quite feeling up to how much teasing that conversation would inevitably involve. 

And Hisoka...well, even if Hisoka could stay awake to hold a conversation with him, the chances he could remember any details of past interactions are iffy at best, so he wasn’t really a possibility, either. 

Which is why he’s here, drinking expensive tea out of expensive teacups and hoping that Homare will have some pertinent advice for him. 

He finishes and takes a breath, finally raising the teacup to his lips and drinking as he waits for Homare’s response. 

“My friend,” Homare eventually says, something pained and drawn about his expression. “What I wouldn’t give to have the second chance that you’ve been blessed with.”

“I’m sorry, I…”

“No!” Homare holds up a hand and Tsumugi stops mid-apology. “Do not belittle my shortcomings by pitying me! I can, at the very least, accept where I went wrong, even if at the time I was unaware...well,” he clears his throat, his mood seemingly lifting in an instant. “I suppose the most important question is merely this: if everything is as you suspect, would you want that?”

“I would,” Tsumugi doesn’t even have to think twice about that. “I never thought...after I ran away, I didn’t think I’d even  _ get  _ a chance like this again, but I’m not leaving this time,” he says firmly, feeling more assured of that than ever now. 

“Then I believe you already have your answer,” Homare nods. “Ah, where did my quill go...young love is so inspiring, I have to write about it…”

Tsumugi resists the urge to point out that a) Homare is only a few years older and b) his quill is really just a pen with a feather attached to it, and waits patiently for him to scribble a few things down before he realizes that yes, he was in the middle of a conversation and Tsumugi is still sitting right there. 

“Right! Now,” he closes his eyes, appearing deep in thought. “You have a chance that I never did. If I could…” he stops, shaking his head. 

“If you could…” Tsumugi prompts, and Homare blinks his eyes open and stares directly at him. 

“If I could make amends for my past transgressions, I would jump at the chance in a heartbeat. Perhaps we would still be incompatible, but not knowing has been the hardest part of everything to reconcile. I wish you all the luck in the world,” he smiles warmly and Tsumugi feels surprisingly bolstered by the words. 

“Thank you,” he finally says. “For the tea, and…”

“Please, enjoy! Don’t let my brooding dissuade you, I’m muddling through just fine,” Homare promises, quickly engrossed in his writing again and muttering rhyming words every few seconds, and Tsumugi figures it’s a shame to waste good tea so he stays there until his cup is empty. 

-

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Tasuku grunts, sprawled casually on the sofa again as Tsumugi plops down beside him. “What’s up?”

“I…” Tsumugi takes a deep breath, debating with himself what the best way to approach this is. If it were Tasuku, he’d probably forego words altogether and just head straight for a kiss, but would that really solve anything? 

Wouldn’t that eventually just lead them back to where they were before?

“If you’re looking to apologize, don’t bother. I won’t listen,” Tasuku says bluntly and Tsumugi flinches as though the words have literally injured him. “I mean...I know you’re sorry. I can tell every time you look at me. Yeah, you fucked up, and I was pissed, but you’re here now, right?”

And that’s the most Tsumugi has heard Tasuku speak outside of reading lines for a play in a long time, but all he can do in return is nod. 

“Good. Then as far as I’m concerned, what happened is old news. What’s really important is where you wanna take this now,” his hand lands heavily on Tsumugi’s thigh, hot through the fabric of his pants, and it dawns on Tsumugi that Tasuku really  _ was  _ trying to flirt this entire time. 

It was clumsy and entirely ineffective, but Tsumugi should kind of know to expect that where the other man is concerned by now. 

Tsumugi looks down, knowing that his next move will determine...a lot of things, really. What happens tonight, to start with, but also where their relationship will go and, quite frankly, whether they’ll have a relationship at  _ all.  _

If he rejects Tasuku, maybe he’ll have peace of mind, but he’d be denying his own wants, and after his conversation with Homare he’s realizing more than ever that getting this second chance isn’t something he should throw away so carelessly. 

Still…

Tasuku sighs, his hand starting to withdraw, and Tsumugi quickly clamps his own over it. 

“Tsumu?”

Tsumugi closes his eyes, telling himself not to run this time. There’s nothing to be afraid of - Tasuku is Tasuku, after all, and that’s one thing he can be sure is never going to change. 

“I do want this,” his voice is hoarse and he clears his throat, trying to sound more assured. “I know you said that you don’t want apologies, but-“

He makes a startled noise because apparently Tasuku really  _ had  _ been serious about that part of it and has decided the best way to make Tsumugi stop talking is to do exactly as Tsumugi had predicted mere moments earlier and, well, 

Kiss him. 

Tsumugi flails a little, but there’s something surprisingly comforting about the feel of Tasuku’s mouth against his own. It’s familiar, even after all this time, and Tsumugi instinctively reaches to wrap his arms around Tasuku and draw him closer. 

“Hey,” Tasuku pulls away, staring at him intently. “That a yes?”

“Yes, that’s a...yes,” Tsumugi decides, giving as good as he’s getting when Tasuku kisses him with much more intensity the second time. 

He’s still not sure if it’s really wise to jump back into  _ this  _ part of the relationship immediately, but judging by Tasuku’s reactions, both of them are just as desperate for it. 

And really, if they’re going to end up here anyway, there’s little sense in waiting any longer than they already have. 

“Should we...bed…” Tsumugi feels horribly inarticulate but Tasuku’s only response is to let out a breathy laugh, shifting them so Tsumugi is practically pinned against the cushions. 

“You really wanna go up a ladder?” Tasuku looks skeptical and no, Tsumugi  _ doesn’t,  _ but doing this sort of thing on the sofa seems…

“Tsumu,” Tasuku says, the nickname bringing Tsumugi out of his thoughts. His eyes are dark with desire and Tsumugi feels himself shiver involuntarily. 

“Okay. Okay,” he nods, winding his arms around Tasuku’s neck and deciding to be impulsive for once. 

-

Catching his breath afterwards is harder than he remembers. 

And yes, it’s been a while and it’s not as though he’s in the greatest shape in terms of endurance, but he can’t quite remember sex being so  _ overwhelming  _ back in college. 

“You alright?” Tasuku’s leaning over him, though thankfully not  _ on  _ him, and Tsumugi tries to gasp out something that he hopes doesn’t make him sound like he’s on the verge of death. “Sorry,” Tasuku grins, looking entirely predatory and  _ not sorry at all _ , but sex with him had always been a workout. 

Tsumugi flops back on the couch, brushing his bangs away from his eyes and staring up at the ceiling. Tasuku’s hands land gently on his hips, rubbing tiny circles into the soft skin there with his thumbs, and Tsumugi bites his lip and tries to keep himself from reacting to it. 

“See? We’re not  _ that  _ old, Tsumu,” Tasuku leans down to kiss his stomach, tongue dragging all the way up his chest as Tsumugi lets out a tiny whine. 

He pulls Tasuku up into a proper kiss, licking into his mouth and feeling the heat rise between them again, toes curling as Tasuku’s hand wraps around his stirring arousal. 

“You up for round two?”

Tsumugi nods, which is about the only thing he trusts himself to do right now, and hooks a foot around the back of Tasuku’s knee to draw him closer. 

They’ve never really  _ needed  _ words for this sort of thing, after all. 

Their bodies can get the message across perfectly without them. 

-

“Hey.”

“Mmph.”

“Same to you,” Tasuku elbows him and Tsumugi groans, trying to wake himself up enough to have a conversation. “I was just going to say, you know half the dorm had bets going on when we were getting back together.”

It's not  _ surprising,  _ necessarily, but Tsumugi still hides his face against Tasuku’s shoulder on principle. 

(And maybe to get closer, but he’ll take the excuse for the moment).

“So you think we should come clean?” Tsumugi guesses, yawning and shaking his head to clear it. 

They’d made it to one of the beds - eventually - and while Tsumugi was afraid to see the state the couch cushions would be in come morning, it’s not as if he can really have any regrets over what had happened. 

“I think they’ll figure it out either way. Especially since,” he stops, looking vaguely embarrassed as he brushes Tsumugi’s hair back and leans in to kiss his forehead. 

And  _ this  _ is a side of Tasuku that Tsumugi hasn’t seen in a long time, but the other man can be surprisingly tender when the mood strikes him and resisting those impulses would be much harder than showing little touches of affection throughout the day. 

“That’s fine with me,” Tsumugi assures him. “I’m not running, you know, so there’s no reason to hide it.”

“Yeah. I know,” Tasuku promises, one hand sliding to rest naturally in the small of Tsumugi’s back. 

“We can worry about that in the morning,” Tsumugi gives into the yawn this time, unable to resist the urge to sleep any longer. “Good night, Taa-chan.”

“Yeah. G’night,” Tasuku mumbles, obviously more exhausted than he’s letting on since he doesn’t react to the nickname. 

Tsumugi smiles and settles himself more comfortably, snuggling against Tasuku’s broad chest. 

Things aren’t perfect yet, far from it, but they’re getting back to a good place and Tsumugi knows that, this time, nothing he does is going to ruin that. 

It’s already a blessing that Tasuku’s trusting him again, so jeopardizing that certainly isn’t in his plans. 

Tomorrow things are going to be different, but he’s fairly convinced that’s not _bad_ \- and, right now, that’s really the only thing that matters. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the line 'I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around' from Lewis Capaldi's 'Someone You Loved.'
> 
> Also, I never expected to be writing A3! fic despite being into the game for almost two years now, but something about these two and their Obvious Awkward Exes relationship got to me and I felt like exploring them a little more. I've been working on this fic for about a month so it's been a process but I'm fairly happy with the tone of the overall piece and the end result as well. 
> 
> Please do feel free to comment if you enjoyed, and if you'd like to find me on twitter, I'm at [_mikarashis](https://twitter.com/_mikarashis)!


End file.
